A Cursed Existence
by Gabi1994
Summary: When you lose all sembalence of humanity to the anger, to the pain, what is there to stop you from becoming the ones you hunt? Nothing... but all it takes to pull you back from the brink is one person... Now is that a blessing or a curse? K/K
1. Chapter 1

A Cursed Existence

Ch 1

Scar

An enticingly powerful yet ethereal charge of power skittered across the edges of the Battousai's senses and he stopped, his feral, golden eyes snapping in the direction of the energy signature. Testing it with his cloaked ki a cold smile traced his lips for a moment as he sensed the raw power of his opponent.

'_This one might even prove a challenge._' He thought with satisfaction as he casually performed chiburi watching the scarlet rain splatter across the pale leeched bark of the aspen around him. Sliding the katana home he turned away from the broken remains of his latest target. Quickly, he scanned the clear night sky and the silent forest around him.

The possibilities flashed through his mind, '_Vampire ancient? No…the aura has no blood tinge…it can't be a were…must be a sorcerer._' He grinned coldly perhaps he would strike again this night.

With this in mind, he stalked toward the strangely electrifying power, his black cloak swirling about his form letting him disappear seamlessly into the night, no part of him visible save his glinting golden eyes.

* * *

His movements slowed as he neared the other being, wary of the pure power emanating from their aura. For a moment he paused, just out of sight and tested their aura.

The pure power pummeled his mind mercilessly for a moment and he felt as though he were being seared by pure starlight. The strong silver and lavender light threaded with midnight blue swirled lazily through his mind overlooking his presence as insignificant, like the afterglow of lightning and liquid fire.

Yet, Battousai was not reluctant, no, here was an opponent worthy of his strength and with this arrogance he stepped forward…then he saw Her.

Sapphire flames glowed in her midnight blue eyes. Her arms were raised as if she were calling out to the heavens as full petal pink lips moved quickly reciting an incantation. Suddenly, the silence of the night was shattered by a resounding crack and the clearing filled with light. Battousai froze. a hand flying to the hilt of his sword as he settled into a battou-jutsu stance he blinked rapidly prepared to ward off any blows.

Finally, his vision cleared and he sought out his opponent, his eyes widening at the sight that met his eyes. A bolt of blue white lightning had struck the clearing and remained a pure ladder of power still connected to the sky. Yet no cloud marred the starlit expanse. Ink black hair rose in smooth snaking coils as if to anchor her to the lightning.

And then, she laughed, ringing peals of mirth echoed across the clearing as the ladder to the heavens slowly shrank the small woman absorbing the raw power. As the light slowly drained from the clearing Battousai became aware of the luminescence that seemed to glow faintly beneath her pale skin. drawing his sword Battousai watched the strange female closely somehow knowing that battou-jutsu would not be her end.

And strangely he still thought himself fairly safe. Then her fathomless blue orbs caught his and he found himself ensnared in her power. Her lilting voice was quiet yet it carried to his ears perfectly as she spoke,

"Come, Hunter, you cannot mean to make me your prey?"

To his utmost horror Battousai felt himself nod. An almost apologetic expression crossed her features as she spoke her words carrying to resonate in his head.

"Come."

Against his will Battousai felt his arm lower. His sword resting docilely at his side and his body began to step forward. A deep horror came into his tumultuous golden gaze as his body moved toward her passively.

Trapped within the confines of his mind he struggled to free himself from her influence. He was stronger than this. One witch's look should not be enough to trap him. And, yet, he remained, a prisoner in his own body.

At this realization the Battousai felt, for the first time in his life, a bone deep fear that no physical danger could ever instill. As the fear bled into his golden orbs the woman frowned slightly,

"I apologize, young one." She murmured.

Suddenly, Battousai found himself once more capable of speech as she partially freed his body from her control. His rich voice betrayed none of his fear as he snarled,

"Witch! What have you done to me?"

A vague smile crossed the woman's face as she replied,

"Hush young one, it is not me you should be hunting." As she said this she stepped forward her midnight blue cloak swirling about her ankles as she closed the distance between them and although she barely reached his eye level he had never felt more helpless. Slowly the woman circled his frozen form and he tried to keep her in sight but he was unable to do so much turn his head. Instead he lashed out his voice low and menacing,

"Cease your games witch! Your kind are all the same, either kill me now or be done with your tricks. Either way I will do all that is within my power to drag you to hell with me."

Yet instead of the rage he hoped to inspire the woman laughed her lighthearted tones sounding from just behind him,

"Do not make idle threats young one. I will not be provoked into killing you and if either of us were worthy of a place in hell I would have sent us there long ago."

As she said this she moved back into his line of sight and reached out sliding her hands beneath his cloak to run lightly along his belt. At her touch his breath hissed out and he glared venomously at the small woman.

Ignoring his reaction she deftly removed his belt knife before shoving his cloak back over his shoulders quickly searching his unmoving form for weapons. Removing his various daggers she set them in a small pile a few feet away.

Seeing the open loathing on his face the woman shook her head saying,

"You have become bitter, hunter. You have lost your purpose. You are blinded by your resentment and have forgotten your honor."

At this Battousai snarled, "Do not speak to me of honor woman! You, witch, lost that along with your soul the moment you signed your deal with whatever demon you worship."

He had barely said the words when her hand collided with his face. Unable to dodge he was caught off guard by the sharp sting of his cheek. Her hard eyes were nearly black as they bored into his.

"Do not speak of that which you do not understand. Don't you see? Your soul was blackened when you began these killings. You are no longer making any distinction in your prey; men, women, mage, beast. I am no witch."

But the cold sneer on his face confirmed her fear. His words held none of the honor or respect a hunter should have instead he spoke in anger.

"You are right, you are an abomination. It is my duty to remove your harmful influence from this world."

At his words her full lips pressed into a thin line and she pulled away from him,

"Then there is no help for it. This is the only way." And so saying she removed his katana from his unfeeling grasp and drove it into the ground beside the pile of his daggers.

Then she walked out of his line of sight. He chuckled darkly as he felt the cold metal of a dagger at his throat.

"You would like me to kill you wouldn't you? It would be easier, no? Then, I could go back to being an abomination, someone worthy of death." As she spoke he felt the tip of the blade slide gently up his neck the flat of the blade almost caressing his face. Suddenly he felt a sharp pain on his face and then nothing at all…

_An open scar this will remain,_

_Until you find the truth again._

_No hate or anger will cloud your kills._

_Until the time a Fay's blood spills,_

_But stolen not will this redemption be._

_Else hell's gates shall open wide for thee_

* * *

When he woke Battousai felt a bone deep weariness. He was alone in the clearing as the dawn began to lighten the horizon. Alone save the haunting lines of an archaic spell running relentlessly through his mind. Quickly, he gathered his weapons stilling as a scarlet droplet marred the silvery expanse of his blade.

Raising a tentative hand, he investigated the damage to his face. A long, deep cut ran diagonally from just below his left eye to the bottom left edge of his jaw. Brushing aside this trifling annoyance he quickly armed himself leaving the darkened forest and heading toward headquarters.

It was not until later that he realized his curse.

Now, every time he began to hunt a target, instead of being able to think calmly, his mind cool and calculating, anger driving his actions. He was clear headed. More than clear headed he was especially attuned to his victim's emotions. Every nuance of their expression even the fear of death as his blade was driven home in their bodies.

And the scar, it remained, an angry red weal the badge of his dishonor.

* * *

Seven years passed in this way. With each kill weighing still more heavily on his soul. The Battousai was no longer a violent harbinger of death, but a cold reaper of lives. No emotions save guilt shone in his haunted amber eyes and yet he had a compassion for life that his compatriots had thought dead in him.

Women and children were safe from his blade for he found the fear of a woman far too detestable to hunt them. His targets he chose carefully, killing only the truly damned. Yet still the guilt ate away at his soul. In this way he kept his oath.

Sworn to hunt and cursed to feel the pain of his prey.

* * *

He had chosen his prey; a rouge vampire male who had been preying upon the young women of a village nearby. He had steeled himself for the unholy burst of killing intent, hatred, and fear; had rationalized the need for the beasts demise would have been able to live with that damned creatures soul weighing upon his shoulders.

And now the beast was cornered, alone, save his latest victim as Battousai moved in for the kill. The vampire was already grievously wounded. It shouldn't have happened. But then 'shouldn't haves' never did count for much…

With a burst of unnatural speed, the beast, grabbed hold of the young, barely struggling female Kenshin had thought already dead. Leaping forward he tried to head the beast off but he was a little too late. With strength borne of cornered fear the vampire threw the still breathing woman at Battousai impaling her injured form upon his katana.

As her life's blood seeped out onto his hands Battousai mind was filled with the emotions of her last moments; fear, pain, horror that she too might become the undead. And finally, most horrifyingly, hope that there might be a chance for her followed only by the cold pain which he knew so well. The feeling of his victim's death was so familiar now he thought he might already be partially dead, having had to cross that threshold again and again with each kill.

When the effects of his curse finally freed him it felt like hours had past rather than milliseconds. Yet, her blood still flowed, warm and sticky, over his hands and the vampire was still attempting to escape. Sliding his blade free of her body as smoothly as he could he turned and with a final burst of speed decapitated the vampire, stabbing him through the heart. Accepting, with near satisfaction, the instant replay of the evil creatures emotions.

And then he knew, there could be no more it had to end. All of it, one way or another he would feel death's cold grip only once more. And this time he would embrace death back.

* * *

It was spring time; the earth was coming to life around him. Gazing up at the clear night sky he wondered absently if any would notice his passing enough to miss him, but he knew they would not. Katsura, perhaps, he might regret his loss, but Battousai knew; had seen it in the man's eyes that Katsura thought him already dead. A poor man driven mad by the killings and deserving of rest. One more regrettable loss in a noble fight against the evils of the supernatural world.

Kneeling he drew his katana and rested the tip of the blade just below his rib cage. For a moment he hesitated, then lifting his eyes to the starlit expanse of forest. The lavender shadows and blue-white light leeching color from the landscape.

The moment seemed ethereal and Battousai felt strangely content, steady hands grasped the hilt of his sword and drove the blade of his katana home one final time.

The cold pain which filled his senses was expected and welcomed and he smiled peacefully as he felt his life's blood draining away. His vision began to swim and just as he lost the energy to sit and slumped to the side, deep, sapphire pools stared into his glassy gold and a soft admonishment rang in his oxygen starved brain.

"_This is not your fate young one._"

As his world went black for the last time and he sank into the welcoming abyss.

tbc…

* * *

hmm, well this is turning out darker than I intended, but, deep breaths there's going to be more, I couldn't leave my lovely tortured killer dead, the world wouldn't be a happy place without my lovely Kenshin running around with all the good intention of a friendly hurricane.

Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin.:pouts:.


	2. Chapter 2

A Cursed Existence

Ch 2

Ch 2

Open Wounds

******

Recap from Ch 1

The moment seemed ethereal and Battousai felt a sense of peace settle over him before, strong, battle scarred, and steady hands laid hold of his blade driving it home one final time.

The cold pain which filled his senses was expected and welcomed and he smiled peacefully as he felt his life's blood draining away. His vision began to swim. Just as he lost the energy to sit and slumped to the side, deep, sapphire pools stared into his glassy gold and a soft admonishment rang in his oxygen starved brain.

"_This is not your fate young one._"

As his world went black for the last time and he sank into the welcoming abyss.

******

Battousai's awareness rose slowly from the pain filled fog of sleep.

'Dark, warm'

His mind first registering the dull pain radiating from his abdomen and the familiar leaden fatigue of blood loss in his limbs before the consequences of this awareness dawned upon him.

He had failed, and the weight of his sins, the feel of Death's omnipresent chill, crashed over him in chilling waves of guilt and pain. Instinctively, before all else, he reached for his swords, for their comforting presence. This had to end; he could not go on surrounded by darkness. When his sure hand met coarse bedding rather than familiar cool, lacquered sheath of his katana deadened golden eyes snapped open.

He froze for a moment as honed instincts took stock of his unexpected surroundings. A ceiling which was composed of thatch and low rafters hung with neat bundles of drying herbs met his gaze rather than open sky and tree tops. His eyes darted to the side taking in smooth, gray stoned walls before he finally noticed. The odd buzz in the back of his pain and blood-loss clouded mind was another presence.

He tensed his eyes searching as his ki sense spread out testing the bright ki. Instinctual fear gripped him at the strangely familiar ki, the sight of the long blue black locks which hung down her back. Then she turned and the light cerulean eyes meeting his held none of the unearthly power he feared.

For a moment silence filled the room as her eyes flitted about the room absently. Then she noticed him and smiled,

"Ah, good, you are awake. How do you feel?"

For a moment he watched her warily, but the wide eyed innocence in her gaze convinced him. If she did not know he had failed to commit seppuku then why worry her? It would only lead to complications.

"Much improved, I thank you for your care. How long was I…" he trailed off

"You've been unconscious for two days." The woman supplied before stepping away from the pot she was tending near the hearth and snagging a small bowl. In a moment she walked over a bowl of stew in hand.

"Can you sit up?" she asked, "You need to get something in you."

Carefully, he eased himself upright his passive face showing none of the stabbing pain his movement caused. Politely he waved aside her attempts to aid him.

"It's alright, I am fine." He murmured his monotone words revealing nothing.

She simply nodded and handing him the bowl of stew left the small cottage with a soft assurance that she would be back shortly.

Carefully, he finished his inspection of the room, skills that had kept him alive for far too long kicking in.

_Location: unknown, surroundings indicate this is a forested area feasibly no more than two miles from last known location. Two viable exits: door facing east and low window on the south facing wall. Structure seems to be double room with entrance along the north wall, contents and layout unknown. Large hearth along western wall may provide a possible exit but is not currently feasible._

_Occupants: petite female, human, young, appears to live alone, currently poses no physical threat. Possible skill in healing (non-magical); name: unknown. _

This information was gleaned first followed by more mundane details.

The cottage was simple but well kept, the smooth graying stones that make up the walls extending across the clean swept floors as well. A variety of well worn wooden furniture filled the room aside from the well patched and freshly cleaned pallet he lay on. But what stood out the most was a tall set of shelving across the room from where the pallet lay, his bedding carefully positioned near enough to feel the slight heat radiating from the hearth but out of the way and in the corner, farthest from the door.

The area before the shelves was taken up by a low table the whole area seemed to be a small apothecary various herbs and jars making up the organized clutter. Aside from this his eyes caught a few books as well as a well worn chest which were placed beneath the table. His swords were nowhere to be found.

He felt so weary, his mind clouded by pain and from the looks of things some sort of medicinal substance.

_Why couldn't it have ended cleanly? Why were the heavens dragging his death out? Clean and quick, was that too much to ask for?_

He would end this. Soon.

A quick assessment of his injuries told him that he would probably be able to walk out of here on his own two feet. He needed only his katana and he would be gone, free from the guilt and this existence. Some small part of his mind hoped he could get far enough away so that the girl wouldn't know, so that the innocence in those large, doe soft eyes would be preserved for a little while longer.

And then he was no longer alone, the woman returning indoors. Sharp eyes quickly noticing he had eaten nothing.

"The blood loss has probably made you nauseous, but, please, try to eat something. It's only a light broth, it shouldn't be too rich for your stomach. Your body needs the energy to heal."

With a bit of chagrin he sipped the broth carefully, wincing internally; bland would have been the most polite description. But the inanely cheerful and hopeful smile on the woman's face stopped any objections he might have voiced.

"Good, see it's not so bad, you were lucky, somehow no major organs were hit."

'_Lucky…'_

The word echoed in his thoughts for a moment

'_If only she knew…'_

"By the way, I'm Kamiya Kaoru, and you would be…" she trailed off hopefully moving to kneel beside the pallet so she no longer stood over him.

Clearing his throat softly he murmured, "Battousai." Short, simple, standard response, generally sent sane people scrambling for the nearest exit.

She laughed, "Come now, that can't be your real name."

Bright sapphire eyes darkened for a moment and he heard himself speaking, telling her, a complete stranger, his true name,

"Himura Kenshin."

_What was he doing? All a person needed in these parts was your name to do harm; he'd met sorcerers who could snatch appearances with less than that. He knew this, knew better than to let any know his name. _

"Hmm, it suits you." She said with a smile, "You, Kenshin, are lucky I found you, it was a close thing."

Kenshin nodded absently, loathe to lie openly to the woman. Handing her the empty bowl he rose gingerly, pleased he could move, though his movements were halting and strained. She rose with him, intentionally or unintentionally, he knew not, angling her body to block his immediate exit.

"You are a skilled healer. I thank you for your care. I don't wish to burden you Kamiya-dono. If you would return my weapons to me I can be on my way."

For a moment the woman watched him silently her eyes darkening, but her tone was light as she replied,

"Please call me Kaoru, and I couldn't possibly let you leave in your condition, why you're barely standing, you'd be snapped up by the first were-bunny you came across."

Yet despite the growing sense of unease he felt he persisted overlooking the steely edge in her gaze, choosing to hear only the naïve woman on the surface.

His voice hardened, "My swords, Kamiya-dono?" He intentionally leaned towards her crowding the small woman, his strong ki focused on her pale aura.

Yet instead of acquiescing the slight woman was unmoved, her voice low and hard as she asked,

"Would you squander my effort to heal you Hunter?"

Kenshin tensed for a moment his body instinctively wary of the dangers those nuances of speech presented even if his rational mind chose to overlook the possibility.

But Kaoru continued her cheerful and sunny persona firmly back in place.

"You'd rip all of you stitches, you simply cannot travel until your wound has healed more thoroughly." Her smile was genuine and even Kenshin's sharp eyes failed to catch the dark glimmers in her innocently foolish and wide eyed gaze.

To his surprise Kenshin found himself nodding with reluctant agreement. His options were limited, short of 'escaping' from or threatening the well intentioned woman what could he do? He was without weaponry and, for the moment, at this small female's mercy.

Somehow Kaoru convinced Kenshin to lay back down. Within minutes the hunter was asleep warm meal as well the light sedatives in the broth coupled with his attempts to stand having exhausted his meager stamina.

Kneeling beside the pallet the inanely cheerful expression dropped from Kaoru's face. Her expression was weary and regretful as she brushed a lock of blood red hair from Kenshin's care worn face. He would not wake soon, her mild compulsion to sleep and heal stopping him from further irritating his wound. Softly, she sighed,

"Was I too hard on you young one? I wonder have you learned the value of a life?" she mused aloud.

Gently, she ran a feather light touch over the angry red weal on his cheek. Feeling still the slight tingle as her magic recognized its own.

"Is it so hard to live with your sins?" she asked the sleeping form, but, she knew well the weight of a life, and she could, in a way understand why he had chosen to end the pain. It was that understanding, the knowledge, that this man had nothing left to live for, hurt.

Regret flashed across her features. Even with the knowledge that she had had no choice, she had trouble looking down on his broken form and remembering that he would have been devoured by the darkness sooner had she hesitated.

Rising gracefully Kaoru felt a weariness that beguiled her youthful form. Too long had she inhabited this guise, Kaoru knew not how much longer she could hold this semblance.

* * *

When Kenshin woke he was somewhat startled to see Kaoru had fallen asleep. She sat leaning easily against the wall at the foot of the pallet, with what he assumed to be mending in her lap. Asleep, she seemed older; a subtle weariness seemed etched over her youthful features. A thing which seemed unnatural, something he couldn't name its presence lurked along the edges of his mind.

Under his scrutiny her bright cyan eyes opened and she smiled softly, blinking sleepily. Yawning she stretched.

"I'm sorry, I just drifted off didn't I?" she said with a grin, "How are you feeling?"

Kenshin shrugged, he felt…well, like he'd tried to skewer himself. Which, he had…so all in all, he felt better than expected.

"Fine," he replied noncommittally.

Kaoru's brow winkled slightly at his vague answer but did not press him instead saying, "We should change your bandaging while you're up."

Rising, her long earthen toned skirts brushing her ankles she set her mending on the low table before the shelving. Quickly, she retrieved a neat roll of bandages and a small stone ware jar. As she drew near Kenshin tensed sensing a strong magic about her. His calm, honeyed eyes bleeding to hard burning gold. Oddly, she seemed to understand. Pausing in her quick movements she held out the stone ware jar.

"It's a healing ointment; our medicine woman is very skilled." Kaoru murmured projecting a feeling of calm and cloaking her own power, omitting any mention she had made the ointment and at the same time avoiding the outright lie he would sense.

Kenshin flushed feeling foolish for his distrustful reaction.

Slowly he nodded. "Ah, I see, it startled me."

Her polite smile stayed firmly in place but laughing cerulean eyes let Kenshin know exactly what she thought of his excuses. He shook his head ruefully and was shocked to find that an answering smile was tugging at his lips. Carefully, he sat up kneeling to give her better access to his injury.

With swift efficiency she shoved the sleeves of her cream blouse up and out of the way, revealing lithe, yet, leanly muscled arms. His brain barely catching the fact before she bent and began to unwrap the soiled bandages which swathed his midsection. When white wrappings fell away revealing his wound Kenshin blinked, his vision wavering slightly.

For a moment he imagined that all that remained of his wound was an angry red line. Then he blinked and the image before his eyes settled. He saw what he expected, a deep gash, just beginning to scab over. Careful stitching holding a jagged wound closed, for a moment his half formed question hung in the air,

"Wha-"

"Hmm?" he heard Kaoru inquire from where she was leaning behind him to inspect the exit wound.

Cool fingers gently probed the slightly inflamed skin before spreading a thick layer of ointment over it. The burning sensation lessened a numb tingling taking its place. Placing a thick pad of bandage over the wound she repeated the same process with the entry wound, before binding both pads in place.

"You are healing well. You'll be up and about in a matter of days." She assured him.

Kenshin nodded slowly still unsure what tricks his eyes were playing on him.

'_Must be the blood loss.'_

He thought spacing out slightly.

Kaoru watched the vacant look on the man's face with slight satisfaction. He was beginning to see through her illusions. Perhaps there was hope for him yet. He had been on the threshold of death when she found him. She had been forced to close his wounds prematurely to prevent him from bleeding out, so, while she had been unable to expend the energy to heal his wound internally, externally his injury appeared a week rather than two days old

Leaving Kenshin to his thoughts she set about removing the soiled bandaging. A soft inquiry stopped her.

"Ano…Kaoru-dono, do you live here alone?" the transparent concern in his voice warmed her heart.

"That I do, but the villagers check up on me every week or so." She said as she placed the bandages in a basket of soiled clothing and returned to her mending. The unfamiliarly domestic task giving her something to do that wouldn't alarm the hunter too much.

"Kaoru-dono, this forest is not a safe place for a young woman to live alone."

Kaoru nodded, "True, but perhaps I am not your average damsel in distress." She said with a cheeky grin.

Kenshin frowned slightly,

"Kaoru-dono this is no laughing matter, plenty of creatures would have attacked you upon waking, having found themselves injured in your home."

For a moment Kaoru watched him in silence, her voice was solemn when she spoke,

"I thank you for your concern but I assure you, I am not naïve Kenshin. You will simply have to take my word that I am well able to take care of myself. I have not survived this long on dumb luck. "

Kenshin looked unconvinced but let the subject drop.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~XXXXXX~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As the days passed Kenshin grew stronger, able to remain awake for periods longer than half hour intervals, he found himself feeling a strange contentment being with Kaoru. For all of her naivety and energetic cheeriness, she had a strange air of assurance about her, an inner strength, which while well hidden often shone though.

She took all of his quirks without batting an eye and had a fierce temper. Her spitfire personality and optimism drew him inexplicable to her. She embodied the life he had not experienced in so long and seemed to hold an inner fire that nothing could quench.

What frightened him most was the knowledge that he, in a simple careless action, might be the one to dampen the light in her eyes. To harm the love of life she held so fiercely to, even, when a passing solemnity overcame her natural cheerfulness.

* * *

It had been around five days since Kaoru had brought Kenshin into her home, and three days since the man had wakened, when she was roused by the a sharp spike of now familiar ki, tainted by the fear and death that seemed to emanate front room. Opening her eyes to the dim confines of her back room, she rose quickly from her pallet.

Easing on the long skirts which she had taken to wearing during Kenshin's stay rather than her usual breeches, she moved gingerly around a few of her more…interesting belongings. Her path illuminated in the soft lavender blue radiance being emitted from a globe of power currently hovering in a small spell bound, she moved silently towards the door.

As she passed, the globe began to gravitate toward her but she waved it away subconsciously reinforcing the cloaking which helped hide her power laden aura from the all too observant Kenshin. Slipping into the main room her eyes quickly zeroed in on the conspicuously Hunter-less pallet by the wall. Scanning the room she finally found his still form where he rested against the wall near the foot of his pallet, the darkness naturally reaching out to cloak his form from unfriendly eyes.

His ki being smothered by the darkness as the fire that seemed such an innate and strong quality in his very being fought a losing battle, flaring and spttering until it was a bare flicker to her senses. The dream fear bleeding off of him made it seem to her ki sense that the temperature in the room actually lowered.

Rather than rushing over like the protective qualities in her wished she debated her options. Throwing something at an injured man to wake him seemed rather counterproductive, albeit safer than shaking a distressed hunter awake… when a soft almost broken cry escaped his eerily still form Kaoru decided she would be able to fend off a sleepy and injured hunter well enough should worse come to worse.

Crouching before him she called out his name softly. Reaching out a hand she gently gripped his upper arm. Yet, instead of shoving her away as she expected he tensed one arm wrapping about her waist and dragging her too him, while a strong calloused hand latched onto her throat.

Her sure hands grabbed the offending wrist pressing her thumbs harshly into the large tendon of his wrist forcing his grip to loosen it's strangle hold over her airway. Kaoru dragged in a breath her face inches from Kenshin's. His dull amber eyes were filled with dream fear and stark panic yet at the same time disturbingly vacant.

As confusion began to filter into their hard golden depths the arm about her waist relaxed and she shifted away to kneel at his side with slowly deliberate motions, projecting the most harmless aura she could in an effort to calm the threatened man before her, who still, kept a hand at her throat. Pulling back but not away trying desperately not to startle him into an aggressive response.

She knew deep down, now was not a time she could risk her gifts, not for anything, lest she shove this man from the one small sanctuary he had found.

* * *

Kenshin woke violently the fear from his dream translating into adrenaline flooding his veins as he perceived the feel of a threat.

' _grabbing hands, detaining… threatening, fear.' _

He acted on instinct honed by years spent with far too many allies who were just as likely to turn on you as enemies. Yet, the small form he restrained did not resist, did not struggle and as the night terror drained away he relaxed and felt the empty blackness of the abyss retreat. One thing impressing itself upon him.

'_Kaoru…safe'_

Suddenly his sleep muddled mind connected the calm sapphire eyes watching him with the slender throat he was threatening to snap. Guilt swamped his senses and he dropped his hands, shifting away from the small woman, trying desperately not to terrify her more thoroughly than she must already be. He pulled back, hands open and unthreatening giving her space to run.

"I- I'm so sorry…I hadn't-…I didn't…" Haltingly, he tried to apologize, his voice burning with shame, as the yawning chasm, which seemed to loom before him drew closer.

How did you apologize for trying to kill some one?

The darkness closed in around him suffocating, choking. He felt cold_. So cold…_

Warmth flowed into him as a flutter of touch skimmed his cheek. Pulling him back from the edge, a guiding point in the darkness.

"Hush, It's alright. You are safe here. There's nothing to fear." she crooned soft reassurances, trying to pull him back from the darkness, trying to keep his feebly flickering ki alive against the darkness smothering him. And somehow the soothing tones she spoke were more important to him than the words.

But this was wrong. He was dangerous; she should not be near him. Then her touch was gone and he felt himself wavering on the edge, the warmth vanishing like vapor in a cold wind.

He tried to warn her of the danger, the death he _would_ cause.

"I…I could have…killed you." the words were soft, broken and he could not meet her open gaze.

Confusion and despair retreated, a gentle blue white light taking its place as he felt gentle hands lift his face, nearly stiffened at her nearness but accepted it, grateful for the moment of peace her touch provided

"But you did not. And you have not. Don't blame yourself Kenshin." Her soft words spoke of forgiveness but he knew only pain and death, even in the face of her understanding, the way she knew, without words, his fear, it could not be.

As he turned away, he felt the loss as her hand dropped reluctantly from his skin. Felt the chill creep relentlessly into his bones, the blackness, with its invisible crushing weight…

"No, it's not your fault. You haven't hurt me. Please Kenshin, believe me, I won't let you harm me."

Then heat bloomed in his chest, burning out the hollow deadness and the ache in his heart. In something akin to shock he met her warm cerulean gaze. As she cradled his hand to her he was struck by the strange need to keep her close, to stay in contact, to enjoy if only for a moment the feeling of wholeness her warmth provided. Even as some part of him registered the power she was manifesting, he was hurting, his very bones hurt with an aching chill, and she was so very warm, stoking the inner fire he had felt slowly die over the years.

Tentatively, he raised a hand to her face. Ran almost reverent fingers along her delicate features, it felt like cradling porcelain, if porcelain ever held embers. The frailty of her beauty…it hurt.

"Kaoru," he breathed her name gently, softening the force of his words, "So fragile…Don't you see?" he murmured

Running his hand gently down the line of her jaw he placed his hand on her neck. Her languid pulse beat like sparks of warmth against his fingers, letting him know with quiet assurance that he had not failed yet.

Gently, ever so gently, he tightened his grip.

"So delicate, so easily broken…with one hand I could…"

"No," she whispered not even a hint of fear in her eyes, "you couldn't." she contradicted gently.

'_How could she not believe?' _

Reluctantly his strong hand left her throat, but caught her hand and drawing it into his lap began tracing the delicate bone structure so dwarfed by his own, unable to face the darkness, the despair, not yet.

"Couldn't?" he murmured softly, "I think you mean… no, hope, that I wouldn't." the soft words were bitter with the knowledge that no matter his intentions he brought danger to all around him.

Her softly assured reply broke him,

"You can't do me harm."

Those words, the one thing that he wished so desperately were true, that he might not need to fear himself. They broke something in him, and he told her the truth,

"But I can. And that is what I fear, a hunter only kills Kaoru."

But she would not listen. In a voice steady and strong she, in her beautiful innocence, tried to ennoble the harsh reality of his life

"Have you forgotten? A hunter kills to protect." The conviction in her voice, so pure, hurt him. For he, in his very existence proved her wrong.

There was nothing to be done. She was not safe. He would remove the source of danger. And as he had done so many times before, to so many others, he tried to intimidate her, to scare her to prove in her eyes the demon he was. His dark smothering ki flared out steeped in pain, and death it clashed with hers a healing warmth, gentle yet strong.

"You know nothing of me." He bit out harshly, even as he clung to her warmth, his mind pleading with her to leave him for her own safety yet unable to release her, strong calloused hands cradling hers, a tentative lifeline to his sanity.

But the blue eyes he looked into here not the terrified, retreating or outright hateful eyes of a woman seeing her own death and retreating but the deep fathomless orbs which held joy and pain, life and death. Her words were the echo of a past life.

"Do you mean to make me your prey Hunter?"

The shock, the old thrum of fear, were dwarfed in comparison to the steady warmth she radiated, they were not enough to shake his need for her presence, her warmth.

At her words he answered truthfully. Would he hunt her? Could he? No, she was far more powerful, but perhaps more importantly she was Kaoru. She was no longer a faceless soulless horror of the supernatural world. She was kind and forgiving and joyful and the thought of ever dampening that flame frightened him.

"No, not now, not to you…" he murmured unable to articulate the depth of his reasoning. Before the words burst from him, "But why? Kaoru…" he trailed off tensing slightly as the small woman leaned close, resting against him. His rational mind insisting he wanted to pull away for all the wrong reasons.

'_Danger,' _his mind insisted,_ 'but for whom, me or her?'_

In the end he proved unable to fight the instinctive fear, the need to keep _**her**_ safe; he was not safe for her he would…

Her next words caught him off guard

"Hush," she murmured, "I mean you no harm."

Yes, he knew that. Felt it in the warmth of her aura, the ironically protective attachment he had toward her. Yet still he asked,

"Why do you trust me?"

And for once he received an honest answer to his query. No sugar coated lie, no naïve assurances of trust in his self control.

"For the same reason any have chosen to trust me. You have the ability to do harm and choose not to. I understand this, and the uncertainties it leaves. That is the basis for trust. To know that at least for the moment you wish me no harm and I return the sentiment. I choose to trust, because I care that you do not throw this life away." She said her words simple yet pregnant with meaning.

Kenshin flinched away from the meaning of her words. Feeling, in his own mind, the condemnation she did not bestow, the guilt for choosing a clean death over life.

"_Why_? Why did you do this to me? "

"You know why Kenshin, I tried to find another way, to warn you…" Kaoru's voice was very gentle yet weary as if it hurt to acknowledge the pain she had knowingly caused.

The chill of death echoed in Kenshin's weary reply, "Then why are you here? Have I not learned my lesson? Have I not suffered enough?"

Kaoru gripped his hand reassuringly felt the need to soothe away the anguished man's pain. Those words had hurt him…so much.

"Would you think so little of me? I meant not to drive you into darkness but to let you appreciate the light. I am not so unfeeling to wish a slow death upon any. . I like to think I have more compassion for life than that. Even my enemies deserve the courtesy of a quick death."

Hearing her words Kenshin could not bring himself to condemn her, and no bitterness clouded his mind as he softly murmured,

"What can a mage know of their spells?"

Weary golden eyes watched her where she lay, resting her head gently on his chest. So warm, so trusting, as if she knew how her presence kept the awful chill of Death at bay.

"Do not speak of what you do not know. I do not bestow the chill of Death's coming without thought. I too live under the punishing chill that burdens a warrior's blade and tempers the hate." The gentle rebuke softened as she continued.

"It is both a gift and a curse to be born of Fay's blood. Holding the power of destruction and rebirth comes at a great price. I am fully blooded and have harbored our blessed curse since birth. Yours needed very little encouragement to manifest."

Kenshin's automatic response held all of the stubborn refusal and fear he felt, "I am human."

'_Yes, human. Not the bloody demon they named him. Dragon, Killer, Demon, by any name he was death walking free and laughing. Death, surely, he was stained and blackened beyond redemption, but not this… '_

Kaoru slight movement as she nodded pulled him from his anguished thoughts.

"Mostly," Kaoru agreed easily

And though he shook his head in denial Kenshin knew the truth…

By way of explanation Kaoru simply said, "Your mother was a half blood, and although you are of a diluted line you hold a power many pure bloods would envy… such power should not be used in rash violence."

The despair that swamped him at her words surprised him. He was accustomed to the fear men felt in his presence, the names, and the accusations.

_What did it matter they had spoken truth? It changed nothing._

But it still hurt. Gentle words which brutally ripped away his last claim to humanity. He felt cold, lost. It was an ache that even Kaoru's warmth could not soothe. His hand jerked involuntarily around hers.

He felt the immediate loss as Kaoru lifted her head looking into his face searchingly.

"Why do my words cause you such anguish? Does that knowledge disturb you? More so than embracing the one who let you feel death? Is it so painful to be one of the ancient race, at peace in the brightest light and deepest night; nature's power condensed to walk earth until the gods see fit to call us home?"

Kenshin shook his head, wishing to hold Kaoru to him, be shielded in her light, and never let her go. To feel her warmth, her acceptance, her gentle forgiveness and not face the darkness alone. Softly he tried to explain his conflicted emotions to her.

"Being with you feels right, it makes me feel whole, safe. But your words only prove that my victims were always right. I am the demon they named me, nothing more." Raw pain shone in dull amber orbs and he gripped her hand with a desperation that shook her.

Hesitantly, he leaned against her wanting contact, needing the reassurance he wasn't alone, praying that she would not recoil like so many had. He knew that no one as pure as Kaoru should be soiled by his darkness but was unable to quell his need. The blood he carried was meant to be his burden alone.

But Kaoru understood, reached out to his aching, bleeding heart and welcomed him, blood stains and scars with healing warmth. Accepting his need with soft words of hope and assurance as his strong arms wound about her waist. She pulled him close as he rested his head on her shoulder.

With a deep sigh Kenshin allowed himself to seek the refuge of her arms. Enveloped in her soothing scent, like rain and jasmine and lightning's heat he let go. Let go of all the pain, the guilt, the sadness and felt a small measure of peace. Carefully, he shifted them from their position side by side, easing Kaoru into the circle of his arms so that she was cradled in sideways in his lap.

Softly Kaoru murmured, "What if I could ease your burden? Your Fay's blood has awakened, that would have occurred without my help. But I can mellow the hurt, soothe away the cold."

Kenshin's grip tightened slightly.

"You would free me so easily?" he murmured.

"You were never caged. Only know that you are no demon but Fay. Formed of the dark of night and flame, you hold great power. There is no shame in our heritage. It is not our blood which decides our fate but our choices. I will not share your burden only to have you end your life."

Kenshin shuddered softly.

Was he willing to blacken another soul in order to ease his own suffering? Foist the pain of his sins upon the only person who had ever shown him acceptance? The answer frightened him…was he so weak?

"Please, let me stay like this, for a moment more." He plead.

He could not make such a choice now. Not at this moment, he couldn't bring himself to condemn her. Not when what remained of his shattered humanity lay sheltered in her arms.

Kaoru nodded content to hold his horrors at bay,

"Rest easy, I will not let the darkness plague you tonight."

As he fell asleep cradling her close to his heart Kaoru was forced to face the fact that she had offered to bind herself to hunter. Strangely, she could not find it in herself to regret the decision.

* * *

Wow…that was longer than usual… hmmm, would you believe I was planning this chapter to finish the fic? Oh well, I guess there will be another chapter ^_^

So, my lovely readers, what do you think? Yes I know, very predictable, ne? I couldn't help it they are simply precious and I find that writing angst, hurt/comfort, makes me unbelievably chipper. (yes, I know that's rather unhealthy) oh well, please hang on with me for one more chapter, I swear I will improve our lovely couple's fate before I let them spirit off on their merry way.

Leave a review, it's not that hard, really, a quick click on that unbelievably compelling gray button. and _**bang**_, a few key strokes and you're done! Good, bad, neither…

…

No?

fine, don't leave a morsel for my pathetically attention starved muse. (She works in a horribly twisted and dark place known as my mind. Feel some sympathy)

ah well, until next week, then


	3. Chapter 3

Ch 3

Marked

Recap from Ch 2

* * *

"Please, let me stay like this, for a moment more." He plead,

He could not make such a choice now. Not at this moment, he couldn't bring himself to condemn her. Not when what remained of his shattered humanity lay sheltered in her arms.

Kaoru nodded content to hold his horrors at bay,

"Rest easy, I will not let the darkness plague you tonight."

As he fell asleep cradling her close to his heart Kaoru was forced to face the fact that she had offered to bind herself to hunter. Strangely, she could not find it in herself to regret the decision.

* * *

Kenshin woke slowly…

_.:calm, warm, safe:._

Impressed itself upon his mind, but he felt his senses sharpen as the cold, killing edge come to the fore at the unfamiliar feel of another presence.

_.:safe:._

Icy shock doused any ill intentions, as he recognized the, softly lit, violet-blue aura that, to his ki sense sheltered him in a gentle glow, feathery and warm. It was her, welcoming, safe, a tether line that held him above the madness. Yet at the same time it was not, her aura held a strong tang of power, of heat and starlight.

Deep honeyed orbs opened to the bright morning light filtering into the cottage.

'_Kaoru, his Kaoru.'_ some part of his mind crooned possessively.

Nestled in the circle of his arms her long blue black hair had gained a luster, an ethereal sheen of lavender. Oddly beautiful marks curled over her right hand, a silver twist of tattoos that twined up her arm in complex tendrils which disappeared under her blouse.

Evidence of the same was visible across her collar bones, gliding up the graceful curve of her neck to end in a gentle silver sweep that curved along the left side of her jaw to curl along her sweeping brow and accent the edge of her gently slanted eyes.

On another, the luminous marks might have seemed out of place, awkward, but Kaoru carried the marks of her race with grace. She finally seemed truly at ease in her skin, the strange marks only enhancing the aura of enchantment which she seemed steeped in, and erasing the air of stretched weariness he had sensed since he found himself in her care.

What was this woman to him? He knew her and yet he did not, she was one constant in the endless hell his life had been for seven years, but he could not find it in himself to hate her.

Why would she offer to shoulder his burden? Why would she bind herself to a killer?

Was it guilt? Was it concern? Why should she aid a hunter? And more importantly, did he have any right to that aid?

Gently, he lifted her laying her carefully into the pallet he had abandoned. This woman was important to him, he didn't know why but the thought of leaving her… hurt. It was more than that she let him escape the horrific chill of death, if only for a moment…

She was sincere, for all her mystery and power she held no guile and no shadow tainted her aura. She was a rock, one which he couldn't help clinging to desperately in the face of chilling Death. Not pure, but disciplined, principled, honorable, trustworthy he could feel it in the brightness of her ki. Who was he to taint that vitality, that light?

He, who had fallen so far, was so stained in blood and the lives of others. So different from her, she accepted her abilities and acted with a strength he could not match, to go on in the darkness and create light, to live with the weight of her actions.

Rising he moved away from Kaoru, quietly stepping outside his thoughts roiling violently. Glancing about he took in the cottage's surroundings, the small clearing it stood in was lush with spring grasses and flowers. The babble of a stream could be heard just beyond the trees and the sounds of bird song filled the clearing. Aspen cast scattered shadows and the bright morning sun illuminated the brilliant emerald green grass. Stepping off away from the structure he moved silently past the small garden and into the forest intent on finding the source of the sounds of cascading liquid.

Nearing the water he found a deep pocket of green shadow beneath a tall aspen at the edge of a deep pool. The strong fall of water feeding into the pool filled the clearing with cool mist, as shafts of sunlight piercing the deep semi-darkness to illuminate moss covered rocks, golden leaf matter, and the silvered fall of water which fed into the pool. Minute specters of light shifted and scattered, dancing about the clearing, glimmering deep in the water and casting rainbows into the mist.

Kneeling at the water's edge, cloaked in greenly lit shadow he stared out over the pool. Let his mind drift, listening to the strong rush of falling water and the gentle lapping of wavelets against the shore, catching the musical rustle as a breeze swept through the aspen scattering the shadows they cast, feeling the cool of mist against his skin, and letting his eyes drift over the contrasts of shadow and light, being drawn into the waters multi-faceted depths.

He let the turmoil drain away, he felt cold, empty, but calm, here in this place, he was nothing, insignificant, adrift, with neither hope nor dread, joy nor sadness unable to feel pain nor bestow it…

* * *

He knew not how long his mind floated empty, his eyes open but unseeing, awake but unfeeling, when, like the smooth slide of silk, another consciousness brushed his own gently pulling him back to the present.

Turning his head slightly he caught sight of Kaoru where she sat perched easily upon a damp, moss covered bolder nearly beneath the waterfall. The mist clung to her long hair and lightly golden, nearly luminescent skin like jewels, spreading glints of light throughout the shaded pool. Her face tipped back to receive the gentle mist.

But now she wore not the familiar long skirted peasant attire he recognized but a deep midnight blue top, which hugged her form gracefully. It was sleeveless, the neck a shallow split neck fully revealing the intricate markings along her collar bones the top laced closed with a simple black tie. There were slight splits along the sides allowing for ease of movement, the soft material ending about mid thigh, clinched at the waist with a currently empty weapons belt.

She wore leggings of the same material which ended just below the knee revealing silvery tattoos which curled gracefully about her right calf ending in elegant organic designs which curved partially about her ankle, her feet were left bare. Although, now he noticed soft, well used leather boots at the waters edge. Her outfit was simple, and designed for ease of movement. It was obvious she was most comfortable in this, her movements uninhibited by excess amounts of fabric. Her long hair pulled back in a high ponytail.

He could see her profile and when she finally spoke she did not turn to face him,

"It is peaceful here, ne?"

He made no reply, but he doubted one was expected.

"I had not thought I would lose my grip on that form so soon." As she said this she tilted her face away from the spray, lifting her right hand to inspect the intricate silver casting slivers of light careening into the shadows about her patch of sunlight, "I expected I had another week at least." She murmured to no one in particular.

Finally turning to face him, she smiled and he finally saw her eyes, no longer solid sapphire, they had taken on a darker hue, nearly matching her attire save for the lighter ring of silvery blue around her pupils and streaks of lavender dancing in their depths, like starbursts and lightning. A thunderstorm condensed to earth.

"You do not seem surprised." She observed

Kenshin's voice was quiet barely carrying over the sound of falling water

"It suits you, as if I am finally seeing what was really there the entire time."

Kaoru grinned, "I am glad, most find this appearance alarming."

Rising gracefully, she slid off the boulder avoiding the deeper waters in the pool, the cool water only rising to lap about her calves. Stepping out onto the rocks she made her way over, droplets of water rolling off her skin with each movement.

"Not at all, though their sentiment is understandable." He murmured softly his voice sounding somewhat hollow even to his own ears.

The Fay and their ilk were not well received among humans; they were secretive and mysterious and although fairly benevolent they were know to be capricious. It was said that those who wronged a Fay could be cursed until the 3rd generation. Their sheer power frightened most, they were not like other creatures, humans and even some of the more gifted beings could not hope to defeat a Fay in combat. They were the elder race, and they were dwindling, far too powerful for their own good, younger races feared the marks of a Fay.

He watched as she took a seat near him dangling her feet in the cool water. Gently, she reached out her cool, damp fingers touching the back of his hand.

"Are you alright?" she asked

Kenshin nodded, "I'm fine." The noncommittal answer rolling reflexively off his tongue.

"You sound empty, lost." She observed ignoring his empty response, "What disheartens you so?"

For a moment Kenshin was silent, "You offer me an escape but only at heavy cost to yourself. I would not wish my burden on another least of all you. Yet, I am not strong enough to live with my sins." The pain in his voice was palpable; it hurt to admit his weakness aloud.

Wrapping a hand about his she smiled reassuringly,

"What I offer, I give freely of myself without regret, but it is true, nothing is without a price. We would be bound. Not only would your burdens be mine, but mine would be also yours. This is not to be taken lightly; a bond between Fay cannot be broken. All aspects of life become joint, strong emotions, magic, pain. Could you accept such a bond between us?" she asked softly, watching his drawn expression for a reaction.

Kenshin's eyes widened slightly at the implications of such a bond. The trust she was extending to him by even offering.

"Why would you do such a thing for me?" he asked unable to fathom what she might see in him.

Kaoru was quiet and her eyes seemed far away as she answered, "Why… you ask, yet, I am not sure I know myself. In part, it is because I know how hard it is to be alone and seeing your anguish hurts me. Perhaps it is because I have been alone for far too long and the solitude I once found peaceful seems lonely now. Some part of me is grateful that you do not fear me as so many of my own kind do."

"Fear?" he asked unable to think of anything else to reply to her forthright response.

"They are right to fear a woman who can control their bodies with a thought." Her tone was sad but resigned. "We are not so different, you and I."

Rising to her feet she released his hand, "Think on it Kenshin, a bond between us would be permanent, can you live with such a thing?" Gently, she patted his shoulder where he still knelt in the shadows and walked back toward the cottage leaving Kenshin to his thoughts.

For a moment he found himself listening for her passage before realizing she made no sound.

Turning his mind from her new appearance and abilities he mulled over this new information...

Should he accept her offer? Was he prepared to live the remainder of his life bound to a Fay? A small voice in the back of his mind chose that moment to interject

'_Well… seeing as you mean to cut short any remainder of life you might have alone… how exactly can a Fay, any Fay, much less Kaoru, be any worse??_'

So, could he live bonded to Kaoru?

Even now he could feel it, the chilling madness of death drawing at him. Pulling him under, a heady tug that promised peace if he would just stop fighting…No, he would not live long alone… the true question was…

Did he have any right to allow Kaoru to bind herself to him?

no

Was he strong enough to accept that fact, to do the right thing, to let her stay pure?

no

And so he stayed, by the pool, wrapped in shadows and light, hoping desperately that by not acting he could hold off the conclusion he both needed and feared.

Needing her presence and fearing to taint her light.

* * *

In the cottage Kaoru left the conflicted man to his thoughts, already knowing in her heart, how this would end.

Moving about the small structure she went about, doing what was necessary, in preparation.

It was early evening when her work was complete.

Glancing about the quiet cottage she contemplated the harvest her actions on that fateful night seven years past had reaped.

The strangest thing was she wanted this joining. It was… more than guilt, more than concern for a suffering man. She knew Kenshin was strong. And for all his sins, he remained an honorable and upright man. She would not have cursed him, had she not known then that some part of his honor survived. She would have put one more broken man to an honorable death. His care, and attachment to her was because of genuine need, because he saw through her fearsome power to the person she was. He knew the costs of manipulation all too intimately and would never force such a thing upon another.

She remembered all too well her 'coming of age', her clan's joy at her mark, at the great power it promised, then their fear as such a thing manifested itself. She could not accept the furtive glances at her mark, the puppeteer's strings, they called it. At first she had despised the marks that made her different, made her an outcast. Could not understand the glares and the strife she caused by simply existing, coveted by the power hungry and shunned by the fearful.

She was tired of avoiding the men who would bind her for power. Weary of those misbegotten Fay who would use a joining to manipulate her actions. She no longer wished to be alone, unable to walk among her people because of their fear of her power, of an unbounded woman free to control their bodies on a whim. They would bind her to one who could 'control her' neutralize the danger she presented to them, all in the name of her safety, her protection…

She had said she would find her own way, find acceptance. And she perhaps she had found them, in a broken and hurting man. A soul to reach out to without remorse, without regret.

Gazing out the window at the fading sunlight, she rose, and grabbing a towel walked out of the cottage. Slipping quietly through the meadow she wound her way the short distance into the trees. The dying golden light gave the pallid aspen a honeyed sheen. Nearing the pool in silence she found Kenshin in much the same position as before. He was kneeling deep amid the cool shadows at the edge of the pool, his loosely fisted hands resting in his lap, his eyes staring straight ahead. By now the light mist from the waterfall had condensed upon him, his scarlet hair darkening to a deep blood red. The loose tunic and breeches she had lent were wet and clinging to his still form.

Gently alerting him to her presence she walked up behind him draping the towel around his shoulders.

"It will be dark soon." She observed softly

"Aa"

"It will become colder once the sun sets. You should dry off." she murmured

Rising without a word Kenshin pulled the towel off his shoulders and started wiping the droplets of water off of his face and arms. As he mechanically swept the moisture off his skin, they slowly moved away from the pool until they stood in the meadow before the small cottage. Kaoru stepped quickly indoors before returning, a dry set of clothing in hand. Giving the bundle to him she gestured at the cottage,

"Get dry. I will be here." So saying she walked a small ways away settling into the tall waving grasses, her blue-black hair just visible over the verdant strands and brilliant wild flowers.

Laying back she watched as the last rays of sunlight disappeared. Soon the nearly imperceptible slide and rustle of grass on cloth told her that Kenshin had returned. She stayed quiet as he took a seat beside her, a sword calloused hand capturing hers where it lay, thrown beside her head in the grass.

"Katsura thinks me dead." The quiet statement was spoken as a question.

"Yes, he has found no information contradicting the note you left. You need no longer be a hunter." Kaoru replied softly

"Can I so easily abandon my oath?" he asked more to himself than anyone else.

"Do they truly need their prized shadow killer any longer? Have you not seen the destruction your power can wreak when it is at the beck and call of another? Such strength should be used as you see fit, otherwise you risk become nothing more than an instrument of death." Kaoru warned gently.

"I know." The weariness in his tone was evident, he had known, had seen what he was becoming, but had been unable to escape it.

"Then, would you leave that past behind? Your oath has been fulfilled, let that burden go."

As darkness fell around them Kenshin felt the fetters about his heart loosen, "I think Katsura will understand" he murmured softly. Squeezing her hand gently in his he murmured, "Kaoru?"

"Hmm?"

"What can you possibly see in me that's worth saving?" he asked

"I see someone who deserves to live, because they are not the tainted soul they think themselves to be, someone who will care about who I am because of me, not because of what powers I wield. Perhaps it is selfish but I don't want to be alone anymore, and if my presence can give you a reason to live, then I will be satisfied. There is so much good in you worth saving, you just don't want to see it." she replied watching the night sky fill with stars. Feeling an answering warmth rise within her in response, the gentle rise of power as night came on.

"The Fay are not mortal. Would you spend eternity with a killer?" he asked softly

"My hands are not as clean as you would like to believe, nor are yours as stained. You are not a killer, but a swordsman. I would not condemn you for a crime I too have committed. One can say that they fight with a 'sword that protects life' all they wish but when it comes down to it… Death does not discriminate…"she trailed off sounding strangely lost. How had reassuring Kenshin become so painful?

At her words Kenshin gently gathered her into his arms and she leaned easily against his chest feeling safe, protected.

Kaoru sighed softly, "What a pair we make, I sound pitiful." she murmured sadly, "neither of us wants to be alone, yet we are too afraid of the consequences to act."

"I don't think I am strong enough to face the chill of death alone." Kenshin murmured into her hair.

"Then will you let me face it with you?" Kaoru asked reaching up a gentle hand to trace the deep scar she had made. She smiled when he leaned into her touch.

"Please" his barely audible plea reached her ears.

Rising she pulled Kenshin to his feet with her lacing her hand with his she lead him around to the back of the cottage.

A low stone table occupied the center of the field. In the moonlight it bleached white, the scene thrown into high relief. Kneeling she placed the twin daggers into her weapons belt. Rising she placed a still hidden object into Kenshin's arms. For a moment he staggered under the unexpected weight. Glancing down at the white granite basin he looked to Kaoru questioningly.

But she offered no explanation, only beckoning to him as she moved silently toward the stream, a separate bundle in her arms. Nearing the edge of the pool she stopped laying her burden on the ground and gesturing for Kenshin to do the same.

Her words were barely audible over the sound of the water.

"This can be done with sand or water. It must occur under the light of the moon and will only occur once in any Fay's life. These marks will remain with you for the rest of your life." In explanation she held up the dagger and Kenshin nodded mutely in understanding. "I don't know to what extent my blood will affect you." She admitted ruefully.

But Kenshin smiled sardonically, "I doubt it will do me any more harm than I threaten to do myself on a daily basis."

Kaoru's expression seemed frozen between amusement and admonishment. Finally she shook her head,

"You really have to stop that; I would be very irritated if you were serious."

With that she stood and carefully explained the details of the binding ritual to him.

* * *

The moon climbed slowly in the skies and soon illuminated the center of the pool its silvery light casting a pearly sheen on the water. Carefully both Kaoru and Kenshin waded into the pool the large basin balanced between them.

When the water had risen to their hips Kaoru dipped a hand in the water tracing a complex symbol into the inside of the dry basin. For a moment the slightly darkened mark glowed silver and disappeared. At this Kaoru nodded and both removed their hands from the basin for a moment it dipped before stabilizing to float just above the surface of the water.

Removing a small vial Kaoru emptied its contents into the basin, the finely-ground, powdery mixture of ash and earth, forming a thin layer along the bottom. Replacing the vial she stretched her left arm over the basin and Kenshin did the same. Unsheathing the small daggers Kaoru and Kenshin began a soft chant, the words were archaic and while Kenshin knew not the language the sound seemed to skip over his ears, their meaning impressed itself upon his mind.

_**Shaerysi saeri tyraer os baresi shi,**_

_**Sharaes, thosi, aes, eil mia.**_

_**Mi eil shaer os shydaer bylol jhaer byr ailael shi tasaer.**_

_**Thys byrn ail cylaeria eil baer shi byl.**_

_**Saeri shydia shyl aeraesar,**_

_**Mar**__** taji eir oli,**_

_**Tol eil caes, shydor, myr.**_

'_Before these motes of nature be waters, fire, earth, and sky. See and bless our blooded joining let not intent be marred. For now in honesty and need we join. These bloody bonds eternal, shall make as one, minds and hearts, bodies, souls.'_

The haunting words echoed in his mind as he rested the razor sharp edge of the blade along the flesh of his forearm. Lifting his amber gaze he stared across the basin into Kaoru's midnight blue orbs. The warmth of their fathomless depths caught him for a moment and at the same time they both made a cut, scarlet blood welling out upon polished steel.

Reaching out they clasped arms in the traditional warrior's greeting, pressing the cuts together as mingled blood fell onto ash. As more blood slipped into the basin Kaoru nodded and using their right hands they each removed a small vial pouring the clear water into the basin. For a moment there was no reaction as the blood and water mixed, then, glancing down Kenshin noticed a slight luminance coming off both his and Kaoru's skin. At first, the gentle glow was only where their blood mixed, then it crept up their arms.

Startled he looked up into her eyes, warmth flooded his mind and his world lurched as every connection to identity he had, was suddenly no longer solely his. He felt Kaoru's consciousness merge with his own . Warily he quested towards her on this strange new pathway in his mind. And was shocked by the wealth of emotions his mind registered. Joy, trust, contentment, calm her emotions glowed brightly in his mind over shadowing the deep seemingly endless wells of fear, pain, loneliness, and sorrow.

He felt his aura being pulled by the spell extending tendrils of flame into Kaoru's own cyan and lightning laced life force as streaks of lavender took up residence in his own heart. For an instant he felt the gentle and insistent pull of the current on her body. The vague sting of her cut, the warmth of his strong hand wrapped about her arm.

The moment these things registered he felt strangely stretched as his senses were pulled completely into her body and sensation to his own cut off. Kenshin/Kaoru looked across the basin into deep amber eyes and was shocked to see his scar had turned golden a silver mark bisecting it in a perfect cross. Strangely familiar golden marks wound up his right hand and were visible upon his face and neck. A never ending Celtic knot was the predominant feature curling into and about the strange gold and silver cross on his right cheek.

For a moment he felt a strange sensation ripple across his/her skin. He watched as silver marks grew and spiraled up his body's left arm, bold inter connected strokes that seemed of Celtic origins, while gold markings in the organic spirals of her own silver marks twined catlike up Kaoru's. Then, just as suddenly his unblinking eyes were once again staring into midnight blue. He could see that the golden marks now twined with silver over her collarbones and extended downwards around her left calf and ankle.

Without any warning, spell holding them immobile ceased and they staggered slightly using their linked hands to steady themselves. Unbidden his fingers wrapped about her arm gently traced the golden markings. He was surprised when he heard Kaoru's voice in his mind,

"_We are mirror images_."

Placing her right hand over his left he saw what she meant. The silver markings on her right side were now accompanied by matching gold marks upon her left. Gently she raised a silver lined hand running her fingers over the cross which had engulfed his scar.

"_It's beautiful._" She whispered into his mind.

Looking down at her Kenshin felt her amazement and joy and knew she could feel the tenderness he felt toward her. Gingerly testing the new found ability he let his words filter into her mind.

"_Thank you…for everything._"

Gently, he released her arm and without a word they both carried the now empty stone basin to shore nothing remained in the bottom, their mingled blood having vanished without a trace.

Crouching they lowered the basin to the ground, as he straightened, Kenshin noticed Kaoru shiver slightly as the cool night air chilled her though her wet clothing. When she turned to gather the loose bundle on the shore he walked up behind her wrapping strong arms about her shivering form. Freezing for a moment at the intimacy of their contact, and the realization of what exactly his body seemed to be doing of its own accord.

Would she be offended? Did his touch bother her? Had he overstepped his bounds?

As she leaned into his warmth a smile on her lips he relaxed. This was okay, it felt right, her closeness.

Kaoru pulled away slightly, her motions somehow never rejecting his touch "Let me just get the bandages."

Reluctantly, Kenshin released her following her with his eyes as she bent, pulling out a roll of bandages. In a moment she returned and was beginning to bind the shallow cut on his arm when her teeth began to chatter. Gently, he turned her so that her back was to him within the circle of his arms and let her quickly bind his cut. He watched quietly over her shoulder as she deftly tied off the end before, hr efficiently extracted the roll from her hands.

"Let me help." He said his voice soft.

Lifting her arm she angled it so that Kenshin could wrap the wound easily, his long arms snaking about her chilled form to reach her left arm. He carefully wrapped the cut.

Murmuring her thanks Kaoru flexed her arm experimentally slipping out of his embrace to grab the bundle of cloth.

Smiling Kaoru returned to his side.

"Leave the basin." She said wrapping her arms around herself as another cool breeze whispered through the trees.

Padding to her side Kenshin placed an arm about her slender shoulders a small smile on his usually grim face,

"We need to get you dry."

Kaoru nodded in agreement and allowed herself to be lead towards the cottage.

* * *

Finally warm and dry Kenshin and Kaoru sat easily before the hearth absorbing the warmth of the flames. Kaoru was on her side her head pillowed in Kenshin's lap while he absentmindedly carded his fingers through her ebony hair. While he had been hesitant at first, Kenshin found himself unable to resist staying in contact with Kaoru, their newly formed bond demanding physical proximity.

As if it was an old routine the two had begun trading memories, sharing impressions, learning about each other's pasts. Small unobtrusive presences in the back of each other's minds as various memories were replayed. Kenshin absorbing her colorful emotions like a sponge. While she seemed happy to simply comfort him when a memory proved painful.

Kaoru's childhood memories were happy, of laughter and love, of siblings and a loving father, a vague memory of a barely remembered mother and of her small isolated and old fashioned clan. Images which soon bled into the strenuous days of training, vivid memories of learning the sword, of studying the magic of the Fay all were underwritten by a deep sense of fierce loyalty, determination and love for her mentor, her father.

* * *

_Strong, arms lifted her, as chubby childlike fingers traced the deep, vibrantly green marks that curled over his right cheek. Her father's deep rumble of laughter, her own high pitched giggle._

"_Papa, why do you have such pretty marks? Will I get them too?" her high childish voice inquired_

"_Do you want them?"_

"_I want to have a pretty green one like yours."_

_A large, gentle hand ruffled her hair._

"_You, my little raindrop will have beautiful lavender marks, just like your sisters, just like your mother." _

"_Mama had lavanver marks?" she asked curiously her small voice stumbling over the unfamiliar word._

_As her small hand was engulfed in his warm calloused ones, she smiled giggling as he kissed to top of her head._

"_Yes, she did, and yours, raindrop, will show up right here," he tapped the back of her hand, "when you are bigger."_

_Kaoru pouted, "I want a big, pretty mark like yours." She said tapping her own cheek_

_A familiar and kindly face smiled as he laughed_

"_Raindrop, you are small, that way you, and your mark will match." He said with a grin as he swung her through the air. _

* * *

His memories were less carefree, starting with the horrors of being sold, so young, that the faces of family and friends were unremembered, long since lost in the recesses of memory. True memory started with a violent raid by a bloodthirsty were-pack and the tragic death of three protective young women. Tragedy followed by the long years of training under a drunk and demanding but good hearted and old-fashioned swords master, of learning the sword, heart and soul, of earning his name.

* * *

_Darkness, and screams, the feral growls of the were. Arms, slender but strong picking him up, running, the horrible sound of pursuit._

_Finally, it was quiet the sounds of the caravan dying away in the distance._

_His fear, as he trembled, huddling against the slender body which held him, listening to the quiet panting of the two women beside her._

"_Shh, it's all right little one, don't cry, you must be quiet right now, alright. Just stay here, and be very still. We'll come back." A sweet voice crooned soothingly. _

_His solemn and tearful nod as he was lowered from warm arms tucked under the hollow of a large tree's roots. Large lavender eyes squeezing shut against the leaf matter that was pressed over the opening to his hiding place._

_The soft patter of feet as they moved away from his hiding place._

_And then the screams… when the forest finally fell silent Kenshin crept out of his hiding place, small hands rubbing his dust and tear streaked cheeks. Small feet carrying him cautiously towards the figures which lay ever so still upon the forest floor._

"_onee-san?"_

_He whispered stepping closer, seeing the angle her neck was bent at, he whimpered softly. Silently, he moved past to the next figure slumped on the ground, catching the sounds of soft ragged breaths._

_Soft brown eyes opened, wearily. The lines of pain etched in her face easing as she tried not to frighten him._

"_Oh, little one, you should have stayed hiding." She whispered her words soft, halting._

_His voice was small and trembling, "Your hurt onee-san, can I help?"_

_The small shake of her head_

"_No, you can't help me, little one, but come here, keep me warm." She murmured letting him creep over ignoring the blood to snuggle into her side, sheltered under her body. "You must stay quiet little one, I may not be with you much longer, and they must not know you are here." _

_She said nothing more but her labored breaths became shallower and shallower until they stopped altogether._

_The soft sound of movements in the under growth as he lay fearful and unmoving beside her. Footsteps that came closer and closer, a looming figure bending by the other women, walking closer until it stood over him._

"_You still with us boy?" a gruff voice asked_

_The figure bent, large, surprisingly gentle hands pulling him away from Onee-san as he whimpered quietly, clinging to her clothes._

"_Onee-0san, she's hurting." He whispered _

"_She's not hurting anymore, come on boy, we can't stay here there's nothing we can do for your Onee-san now."_

_*(A/N: Onee-san means something along the lines of respected older sister, Kenshin is just referring to them as such because they are not old enough for him to call them auntie. He's being respectful and using a child's generic polite term for a lady.)_

* * *

And then came the hard parts the painful memories, those not yet come to terms with, the deaths, the kills, the loneliness, and the trust it took to share them. These memories were shared tentatively ever wary of the rejection they might instill.

Kaoru's discovery of her unique gift… when with only her voice took control of an old childhood friend. The fear and horror in his eyes as he scrambled panicked and cursing away from her and her gradual isolation from her people as family and friends estranged themselves. A stubbornly useless asset to those who would use her, she was abandoned and alone only a trusted few still bearing her company their number dwindling until only her father and siblings would associate themselves with the fearsome young woman.

Her father's unexpected death and the outright hatred it had bred towards her. It was still painful, and Kenshin rubbed his hand in soothing circles on her back as he let himself be pulled into her recollections. Her grief at his death and the clan's determined hatred toward her. She was a threat not only an unbonded woman, she was no longer held by loyalty to a powerful patriarch, and her disgrace extended to her siblings. As she distanced herself from them, her sisters found suitors and brothers were accepted into the clan, became trusted warriors.

Perhaps even more frightening to her were the elders determined attempts to force a joining upon her, willing or not. The candidates all more interested in controlling or manipulating her gift than loving or knowing her. She was young, idealistic and scared, after one particularly unpleasant encounter with a suitor. She was finished.

* * *

_A hard angry voice calling after her,_

"_You will not get an offer like this anywhere else! Woman, choose for yourself or the elders will choose for you."_

_Kaoru walked on refusing to acknowledge the angry footsteps behind her. A rough hand grabbed her shoulder and spinning her to face him he shouted,_

"_Listen to me, damn it! Agree to this bond with grace."_

_Kaoru watched him impassively feeling anger eat at her carefully composed expression._

_He was much older than her, tall, his shoulder length hair jet black, burgundy red clan marks barely extending past his shoulder. His black eyes were angry and cold, as they glared into hers._

"_Let me go Lagan." _

_When his strong hand did not release her she pulled away roughly turning her back on him and marching away._

"_Fine, we can do this the hard way if you wish." He shouted and for a moment Kaoru wondered what he meant._

_Then she walked into it. The spell felt slimy and sickly sweet as it coated her vocal cords freezing them in place, as she mentally cursed her own stupidity._

_Turning she lashed out toward the grabbing hands she knew where reaching for her. But he was stronger than she and armed. Easily blocking her attack he caught hold of her arm wrenching it behind her painfully. Soon he had her in a hold she could not possibly escape from and she writhed helplessly as her wrists were bound securely behind her and her ankles hobbled loosely._

"_Stupid girl, you thought you were so strong, didn't even bother to bring a weapon." He grinned maliciously_

"_They told me you would be so difficult to manage, but it's not so my caged song bird, without your voice you're rather helpless aren't you?"_

_Kaoru glared at him struggling against the bonds and the spell trying to will her voice to work her throat working and producing oddly muffled coughs._

"_How does it feel, my little puppeteer? Having your strings cut?"his fingers trailed over her arm tracing her mark. _

_As the man continued to circle her, she stopped struggling trying to block out his continued monolog, concentrating on the spell. Feeling a rude hand trail over her rump she started, trying to lunge away from him. But her movement only caused her to trip over her restraints and she tumbled to the ground._

_Rough hands dragged her to her feet. Pulling her squirming form against him he dragged a hand down her side tracing her curves._

"_Come now my little song bird, don't be like that."_

_In response she spat at him. Shoving her off of him, he slapped her, the force of his blow snapping her neck around and sending her to the ground once more._

"_Don't worry little bird we'll have plenty of time together after our bonding. You will become accustomed soon enough."_

_A his words Kaoru felt her temper reach boiling point, her vision seeming to narrow to Lagan's looming form alone, and suddenly, her mind widened and the connection she had accessed only through words opened. She saw him, in the muddy browns and burgundy of his ki, his body brown with strange burgundy veining, knew instinctively, that she could control those veins, move them to her will with just a thought. _

_With grim determination she reached out capturing the man's helpless form. His mouth snapped shut as he walked over to her large hand fisting in the back of her shirt and pulling her upright. Freeing her wrists he froze in place as she skittered away from him. _

_Keeping an eye on his still form she bent freeing her legs, ignoring the stark horror and fear in his eyes. The hatred in his violently impotent ki that battered against her, as his hands began tracing the counter spell for his gag order. With a flare of burgundy light her vocal cords were released and she turned away running as if hellhounds were upon her. _

_Kaoru felt a slight jolt as her connection to his form snapped. Hot tears slipped from her eyes and she trembled, feeling sick as she thought of what he had tried to do, of what the elders had condoned._

_Stumbling she sagged against a large tree, slender fingers digging into the bark. For a moment she remembered the horrible amount of control she had held over him, how badly she had wanted to harm Lagan, and how easy it would have been. Falling to her hands and knees Kaoru gagged, reduced to dry heaves her stomach devoid of substance to drag up._

* * *

So she had left, simply walked away, no one could stop her, so no one tried. She had lived that way alone, seeking the solitude, traveling from place to place, avoiding the clans she crossed in her travels. Communities of Fay outside the royal court were rare and it was relatively simple to avoid other loaners like herself, though few were not already bonded couples. Settling down in human or were-communities for as long as her abilities at hiding her true nature would allow, presenting herself as either a healer or a sword for hire. A few of the villages situated in more dangerous areas appreciated an extra warrior, woman or not, while in less receptive societies, she was merely a harmless midwife providing her services and moving on.

Kaoru held very still as Kenshin absorbed the onslaught of memories, felt vaguely nauseous as she remembered that first time she had intentionally possessed someone's form. She had been scared and angry, in that instant, she could have easily killed the man and been felt nothing but relief that he was dead.

Worry gnawed at her, without realizing it she curled into herself. Would he understand? Could he forgive her, for so callously doing such a thing to him?

When he gathered her into his arms, comfort and forgiveness radiating to her across their bond she relaxed.

There was silence in his mind as he hesitated. Wanting, for a moment, to shield her from the horrors of his past, but Kaoru's gentle, reassuring presence in his mind pushed carefully but insistently on the fragile wall he had placed around those images.

"_Don't hide yourself from me…please Kenshin, let me in." _she nuzzled into his warmth, like a content feline, gentle touches and constant warmth slowly crumbling the barrier in his mind.

Hurt, regret, pain and Death, so much death spilled over her. Flashes of memory, all painted in blood. The first kill, the awful knowledge as life drained from his target. The changes as he closed off, became cold, rationalized the killings, so firmly trapped in the fact that it must be done that he lost himself. His soul curling inward against the bloodlust and the violence as he let himself be pulled in by the thrill of the fight...

* * *

_The room was small, lit by a few lamps which illuminated the desk his superior occupied._

_He bowed setting his sword at his side as he knelt._

"_Assignment complete, the target has been neutralized." Battousai reported his voice cold._

_The man watched him closely, "No additional casualties?"_

"_Negative."_

"_You've done good work, thank you Battousai, you are dismissed."_

_Rising Battousai bowed, as he turned to go, a voice stopped him,_

"_Kenshin,"_

"_That child is dead." Came the cool and unemotional reply._

"_I apologize Battousai-san" the man's voice sounded weary, "your next assignment is a small sorcerers coven, they control a minor power fault and are feeding information and spells to rouge elements outside the city. They must be eliminated."_

"_They will be taken care of."_

"_All of them, Battousai, we cannot afford to have anyone alive with access to that vein. Do you understand?"_

"_Hai, Katsura-san, it will be done."_

…

_They were many, but they were magic-users not fighters and spells had an odd habit of sliding off of him like water. _

_They had been unprepared and too involved in some archaic ritual to notice him until it was far too late. The leaders were quickly cut down; dashing the blood from his sword he turned on their apprentices. One rushed him clumsily staff raised as he mouthed a spell._

_For a moment, Battousai felt a slight burning sensation along his veins but it passed quickly and in a smooth move he decapitated the foolish spell caster, the look of shock never fading from the man's frozen expression._

_The rest were merely a blur of death and steel until he alone stood in the eerie silence after the kill._

_Then he heard soft panicked breaths and registered another muddied sorcerer's ki and one other a weakly flickering life force. Silently, he stalked toward the strange alter/sarcophagus that occupied the center of the room._

_Sharp gold eyes flitted over the structure noting the hastily replaced lid and blood stains old and new drenching the stone cover as well as the floor._

_In a sharp movement he shoved off the lid, leaping back in case this was merely a trick. At the terrified scream from the sarcophagus he edged closer sword drawn. _

_The woman curled on her side within was unclothed her long brown hair tangled and crusted in blood. She was thin and sickly pale, she had her knees pulled tightly to her chest. Her face was dirty with dried tears and blood her eyes were scrunched closed. Her back was covered in older bloody whip marks and scars. Her arms had been mutilated, fresh blood running from numerous cuts and judging from the amount of blood coating her and the floor of her prison had been for some time. She whimpered unintelligibly for a moment before Battousai finally caught her words._

"_No, please no more, why are you doing this to me?"_

_When the expected blows did not come her hazel eyes opened and cringed in on herself, seeing his bloody form loom above her prison. As he stepped closer she began to whimper terrified pleas,_

"_please, no more, don't- please don't- "_

_But Battousai only sheathed his katana before pulling off his cloak and throwing it over the hysterical woman, his mind working quickly._

_Human, she was human and obviously not a part of the coven, but she was not the owner of the muddied magic ridden ki he had sensed earlier…_

"_Quiet, woman, I won't harm you." His voice was hard and gruff at his words the woman started and began to shake uncontrollably. Seeing that she was not cooperating her bent down to her level, "Come, stand up, my quarrel is not with you." He reiterated his cold voice surprisingly gentle. _

_He backed up as the trembling woman rose unsteadily holding his cloak around herself. Glancing around at the morbid scene she shuddered and lowered her head, her whole body quaking softly._

_Battousai watched her closely catching the fear in her dilated pupils and her unsteady stance._

_.:she's going into shock:._

"_You're loosing too much blood; let me see your wounds." His tone brooking no argument_

_As he stepped closer she shied back a step but held her arm out obediently. Taking in the damage to her forearm and wrist he bent and removing a boot knife began cutting strips of cloth out of the bottom of his tunic._

_As soon as the blade came into sight the woman began to whimper, skittering back a few steps. Carefully sheathing the dagger Battousai held out empty hands. _

"_Come, I won't hurt you, we must bind your cuts."_

_He waited patiently as the woman edged closer. Quickly binding her most life threatening wounds he ignored they way she shied away from his blood encrusted hands keeping his touch light and impersonal. Battousai paid the woman little mind his senses ranging over the deserted building searching for the muddied ki._

_.:there:._

_Bringing his attention back to the woman he caught her attention, "No matter what happens do not move from here. Do not try to escape on your own. Do not interfere. You will not get very far in this area wounded. The cleanup team will be here soon, they or I will see you back to the city." Watching until she nodded in conformation he moved quickly toward a low cabinet he had assumed held spell components._

_Opening the door of the chest high structure Battousai leapt back clearing the range of the yellow mist that poured out preceding a slight boy no more than thirteen. At the sight of the child Battousai felt a twinge of unease. The boy was crying and held a dagger clenched inexpertly in his hands._

"_You demon!" the child screamed his hands forming glowing runes in the air, attacks which Battousai easily avoided. He hesitated, something in him feeling distaste at raising his blade toward a child._

'_They must be eliminated…All of them' Katsura's words echoed in his mind._

_So he let himself respond to the attack, become the sword they needed. Blocked out the woman's tears, the child's screams, and completed the assignment. _

* * *

Immersed in his memories his mind cried out at the horror of his actions. The spiraling madness, the bone chilling presence of death and the blood so much blood, he was a sword in the hand of the powerful.

Warmth wrapped around his heart, tugging him gently away from the insanity that threatened to pull him under. Offering acceptance, warmth, and a place to rest.

He came back to himself. To a quiet room, the soft crackle of flames, the feel of _**His Kaoru**_ resting in the circle of his arms, slender arms holding him to her. Gentle warmth binding the wounds in his bleeding soul, holding the shattered pieces together. As silent tears slipped unheeded down her cheeks.

Tenderly, he wiped the glistening liquid from her skin.

"Why do you weep?" he asked his soft voice breaking the silence of the room

"Your soul is hurting."

"Don't cry for my sake, I can't stand to see your tears."

A sad smile tugged at her lips, "Someone must mourn when innocence is lost. If you cannot then what would I be if I could not shed the tears for you?"

"At peace," Kenshin whispered tucking a wayward strand of dark hair behind her ear.

Kaoru raised a hand to brush gentle fingers along his golden scar, "I am now."

'_With you, here, this is peace.'_ She said her words settling into his mind like pebbles into a still pool.

Kenshin looked down on the small woman in wonder.

'_His Kaoru.' _His mind insisted.

Gentle, sword calloused fingers traced her features; he smiled as Kaoru leaned comfortably into his touch, soft lips parting in a sigh of contentment.

Softly, he bent brushing his lips over her eyelids.

"May I?" Kenshin's simple words asking so much more as his hands traced gently up her arms.

"Please." She murmured.

Carefully almost hesitantly he lowered his lips to hers. His kiss was warm, gentle, loving. Strong hands cradled the nape of her neck, tangling in silky hair, wrapping possessively around her waist as he let himself deepen the kiss. Tasting the sweetness of her skin he traced her full lower lip, silently asking her permission. He felt Kaoru melt against him as she opened up to him letting him taste her deeply returning his touch with a tentative foray of her own.

Finally he released her lips, not yet leaving her sweet skin as he nipped carefully along the line of her jaw.

'_So beautiful.'_ He whispered into her mind, elated that this beautiful, loving creature, _His Kaoru_, was willing to accept his tainted touch.

Nuzzling the soft skin beneath her ear he smiled against her skin as he felt her shiver softly. Reluctantly, he pulled back, wrapping his arms around her small form and tucking her head beneath his chin. Her arms tightened around his waist and she laid her cheek on his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart.

"Thank you," she murmured feeling his chest vibrate as he chuckled softly, large hands tracing up and down her spine. She felt his loving response across their bond.

* * *

Eventually they rose, and separating they settled down for the night. Yet, as Kaoru moved into the back room she felt a small tug along their bond. A gentle insistence of age old magic and emotion that she remain with her bond-mate, an insistence that only increased as she lay unmoving for several minutes, becoming a mildly annoying pang which was soon a nearly painful urge for physical closeness so soon after joining.

Worried and more frightened than she was willing to admit, she rose, obeying the bond's wish. Hesitantly, she edged back into the main room, for once unsure of herself. For a moment she stood in the doorway unsure, before Kenshin's warm, gaze settled on her, tender and inviting.

"I -…" she let her voice trail off unsure what she wanted, only that some part of her refused to be alone, yet, she knew, deep down, she wasn't ready to give herself completely into his keeping yet.

But he smiled his expression warmly reassuring, his eyes a honeyed amber that seemed to mimic the crackling flames. He was simply present warm, close, soothing, ever-present, but never stifling.

Under his silent and gently coaxing gaze she let herself trust as Kenshin once again enveloped her in his embrace. Trying to quietly soothe the fear he felt in her yet could not understand. For a moment they stood in silence their relief almost tangible as the hollow ache in their chests subsided. Leaning against his strong muscled frame Kaoru's body automatically relaxed, feeling irrationally safe.

"My touch does not disturb you." In Kenshin's rich tones the statement became a question.

In response Kaoru slid her arms around his waist returning his embrace.

"Then let us stay like this tonight, nothing more. You are safe, I would not press you for that which you do not give willingly, nor do I believe," he interjected his voice light as a wry humor laced his words, "that I would be able to, should you prove disinclined."

Despite the jest in his tone Kaoru cringed against him burying her face against him. Use her gift upon him now? Upon her bond-mate? She couldn't, he would never forgive or trust her again… no, she needed his trust, his approval, small things that in so little time it had come to matter far too much.

Sensing her internal struggle Kenshin gently tilted her face up to meet her eyes.

"Do not hesitate to use your gift Kaoru. Be it an enemy or myself, no one should take that what you do not give of yourself willingly. I can be myself around you knowing that you are not some fragile flower that will wilt and die in my grasp. You are strong; I could never blame you for using that strength to protect yourself."

Kaoru smiled sadly, "So you say now, but your words are a comfort none the less, I do not doubt your integrity, I trust you as I do no other." So saying, she slipped out of his embrace stepping silently around the pallet.

Lying down she curled on her side at the edge of the pallet her back to him. Watching her small figure in the flickering light of the flames he followed, settling on the vacated side of the pallet, he slipped under the soft well used coverlets. He could almost see the vulnerability, the huddled lines of her form seemed to radiate. Why? He could feel it, a cold wash of fear, which might have left a lesser person trembling. She did not fear him directly, in fact he could feel her trust, yet unease lingered in her aura.

Gently, he felt along their bond unsure of the source of her sudden fear. She had seemed at ease with him the previous night, then he would have understood her fear, even expected it, yet at that time she was calm. He might have attributed it to her innate kindness or perhaps guilt, he had been vulnerable, Kaoru might have felt obligated to help, to reach out, but neither did she reject his touch in wakefulness. She knew he meant her no harm, and their bond would allow him no lies, so why then did she now act so ill at ease in his presence?

Her soft mental rejoinder was barely perceptible a shift of emotion, a flash of memory, and a shy thought.

'_I was needed, you were hurting.' _

The image of bewildered, frightened, pained and incredibly weary amber eyes hovered in his mind's eye for a moment. Her next thought was tentative.

'_I am an annoyance at best, a burden, a temptation. At worst I am someone you would be well within your rights to fear.'_ What followed was a flood of images, of faces, and impressions of fear, disgust, terror, and betrayal in eyes of every color as their own bodies turned against them.

Reaching out he easily pulled Kaoru from her edge of the pallet where she lay curled stiffly. Gathering her close he pressed her back to his chest as he gently kissed her blue black hair. Feeling her vulnerability, her desire to be loved, needed.

"You are mine, Kaoru, to love and hold close as long as you'll let me, don't doubt that. You already matter far too much for me to push you away. I'm not like the others I don't want anything but you."

Carefully, Kaoru lifted a hand from where hers were laced with his which curled warmly around the sides of her hips his thumbs tracing light patterns into her skin. Reaching back she placed her palm over his scarred cheek, gentle fingers feathering over closed eyes and blood red bangs. Turning his head Kenshin kissed her palm. He smiled as she rolled over in his arms wrapping her arms around his neck and resting her head against him.

"Thank you" She whispered her voice a mere murmur as Kenshin settled onto his back. Both shifted slightly to accommodate the other, Kaoru curling closer to him as Kenshin gently pulled her close until her head rested on his shoulder, arms wrapped possessively around her waist, needing to feel her presence.

He was quiet a small smile on his face as he gently carded his fingers through her long hair, feeling Kaoru's supple limbs fall boneless against him as fatigue and the pleasantly drowsy effect of his touch lulled her to sleep.

'_Please keep letting me love you.'_

Ok, apparently my Fay, have left some people in the dark, let it be known that, yes, while they are loosely based on the Tuatha Dé Danann (Irish/Celtic mythical people/gods/fairies), I mostly followed the characteristics of the daoine sídhe, or fae, I simply prefer the other spelling. Ok, now for the official stuff you should know

* * *

daoine sídhe : creatures from Celtic myth described as human-like creatures separate from either humans or angels with magical ability, though there are exceptions such as the Puca or Mermaids. They have the propensity to be either good or evil. They are said to be exceptionally beautiful and fiercely protective of their territory. Their defining features are their supernatural abilities and their temperament. If treated with respect and kindness, they can be quite benevolent; however, if they are mistreated or shown disrespect they will react cruelly. They are seen to be more powerful at dawn or dusk. (In this fic I tweaked it to night in general and dawn)

Now, for my purposes I created a whole new species twist, here's the quick and dirty version. More will probably be explained in future short stories/ sequels to A Cursed Existence. (I have become rather fond of this universe)

My Fay : For all intents and purposes they are elementals, and are vastly more powerful than either humans or the were-kin. Most malevolent beings such as vampire, banshees, ghouls, demons, devils, and doppelgangers steer clear of them as Fay are closely tied to the earth and instinctively view such creatures as harmful to nature's order. All command some type of illusion magic, though some have stronger abilities than others. They also have a 'gift' which appears when a Fay comes of age, a time generally occurring around late adolescence, though it can appear earlier if they are placed into dire situations. Ex) Kaoru's ability to control bodies and Kenshin's skill with a sword, any myriad of abilities can manifest.

The markings mentioned in this story correspond both to clan and individual abilities, in fully blooded Fay they appear when a Fay comes of age. The area an individual's mark covers is proportional to their strength/ability (Generally appear only on the right hand and arm rarely straying to the face or body) Mixed bloods can gain these marks but it is not common.

Bonded pairs are virtually inseparable, though with time they can tolerate being apart for greater lengths of time. At bonding, partners gain new markings in their partner's coloring, which are generally confined to the area directly surrounding the point of incision on the left arm and remain as long as both bond-mates live. While all Fay are attuned to nature individuals are particularly compatible with specific elements. Ex) Kaoru embodies lightning, rain and starlight (her affinity for lightning as seen in chapter one, these abilities also mean she is more powerful at night, and has a weak power over water) while Kenshin is attuned to shadows, darkness, and fire (his abilities as an assassin stem from this, darkness instinctively tries to cloak him from unfriendly eyes.)

'Kay last tidbit, although Fay are not hostile towards other races they are slightly elitist and live in isolation, humans and were-kin have come to fear the elusive and powerful race.

Ok, my lovelies that about covers it, I hope this puts everything into perspective for you, if not then just hold on more will be explained in future fics.


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